Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mr. Cinderella

This is yet another work found from the high school archives, preserved for posterity.

A Fairy Godmother is too convenient.
I have no coach to carry my dream girl as well
As no white tux with spads of glass to wear for her.
Midnight makes not a difference to this hour.
Now why do I decide to remain dead of cause
Which fills my bludgeon'd heart with motivation from
Fat chance to pursue eternal young soul for mine.
'Tis easy waiting for the badman to speak up
And wait for oppurtune time to come but around
While saving her from pain abus'd and slay such fiend
To take up hero's banner glorified in name
Such evil thoughts have I for this intention spurr'd
To dream of her suff'ring for sake of my own glor'
Will someone slay me 'n'order to be done with all
Great selfishness and pride of ego full of pain
Can I not wait another eternity grand
To just be glad to see her smil' and laugh this night
While standing wearing my white tux and spads of glass
And sitting upon the coach bench adjusting my cuffs.
The rain falls down and trickles pumpkin walls around.
Sit back and sigh for patience infinite divine
Sustains my soul in this endeavor I set on.
The Ball still goes and midnight ain't here yet for me.
And boy do I hope I will not be late for her.
She only needs to find her invitation card
Then we are off to the occasion ordain'd soon.
And King of her and I just finish'd his plan
So none of worries partake I to save for feast
Set forth for us to dine and merry joyfully.
And all the more of this in eternity liv'n.

"Rules on Women.........For Idiots!"

This is something I wrote way back in high school less out of charity and more out of pure frustration. It's amazing what I have learned since then. But I have preserved the original for posterity's sake (including all the misspelling).

1. Even when you are right, you are still wrong.
2. It is your fault, no matter what, it's your fault.
3. She is beautiful; tell her?!
4. Money is not an object.
5. Beware the wrath of a woman scorned.
6. If you were the sole ruler of the universe and the most handsome specimen in all of existence, in the end all of it should be treated as trivial.
7. Apologize when expected to.
8. Be afraid, be very afraid.
9. Love is commitment, GET IT!?!?!
10. It is about her.
11. If something sounds like a bad idea, it more than likely is.
12. If you're in it just for the pleasure, not only do you deserve to die but you will.
13. Pray, oh dear God, pray!
14. All women have something about them that makes them beautiful, make sure you know what it is.
15. No, she's not what you expected, love her anyways.
16. No, you're not her type, fix it or get over it.
17. Dating and breaking up all the time probably causes more pain than the long wait for Miss Right.
18. Forgiveness doesn't come easy, if at all.
19. Just for restatement: Love is commitment!
20. Honesty might not seem that great of a policy, but you're more likely to be alive afterwards.
21. Yes, you are an idiot, keep that in mind.
22. No part of a woman's body is simply your play thing....I mean that with a passion!!
23. Take a hint………..I don’t know! Find a way!
24. Never first assume she’s playing hard to get.
25. No it is not the same language.
26. Tell her that you love her already!!!
27. No, you cannot like two women at the same time. What the heck is wrong with you?!
28. Let her cuddle, physical affection is a good thing.
28.5. But not in public....PLEASE NO PDA!!!!
29. Show love includes thoughtful gift and thoughtful actions.
30. Love her as Christ loved the church. [Ephesians 5:25]
30.5. This entails a lot, including willingness to be tortured, rejected, and killed.
31. Very rarely is something not wrong; but show concern, not annoying fear.
32. Following these rules holds no guarantees.
33. Never be ashamed of her.
34. Did I mention that love is commitment? Well, it is!
35. Read and remember 1 Corinthians 13's definition of love.
36. Put the toilet seat back down.
37. Just listen. Yes, that's a difficult concept to grasp, but you must. Just listen.
38. Being tough and a bully and being truly macho are different in actuality.
39. You are out to win over her heart, not simply impress her.
40. Be prepared.

A list of Vows.

I make no promise to remove thy suffering, only to share it.
I make no promise to never hurt thee, only to forgive you.
I make no promise to grant thee happiness, only sorrow and joy.
I make no promise to heal thee, only to share your wounds.
I make no promise to raise thee up, only to catch you when you fall.
I make no promise to worship thy words and deeds, only to love thee forever.