Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"Rules on Women.........For Idiots!"

This is something I wrote way back in high school less out of charity and more out of pure frustration. It's amazing what I have learned since then. But I have preserved the original for posterity's sake (including all the misspelling).

1. Even when you are right, you are still wrong.
2. It is your fault, no matter what, it's your fault.
3. She is beautiful; tell her?!
4. Money is not an object.
5. Beware the wrath of a woman scorned.
6. If you were the sole ruler of the universe and the most handsome specimen in all of existence, in the end all of it should be treated as trivial.
7. Apologize when expected to.
8. Be afraid, be very afraid.
9. Love is commitment, GET IT!?!?!
10. It is about her.
11. If something sounds like a bad idea, it more than likely is.
12. If you're in it just for the pleasure, not only do you deserve to die but you will.
13. Pray, oh dear God, pray!
14. All women have something about them that makes them beautiful, make sure you know what it is.
15. No, she's not what you expected, love her anyways.
16. No, you're not her type, fix it or get over it.
17. Dating and breaking up all the time probably causes more pain than the long wait for Miss Right.
18. Forgiveness doesn't come easy, if at all.
19. Just for restatement: Love is commitment!
20. Honesty might not seem that great of a policy, but you're more likely to be alive afterwards.
21. Yes, you are an idiot, keep that in mind.
22. No part of a woman's body is simply your play thing....I mean that with a passion!!
23. Take a hint………..I don’t know! Find a way!
24. Never first assume she’s playing hard to get.
25. No it is not the same language.
26. Tell her that you love her already!!!
27. No, you cannot like two women at the same time. What the heck is wrong with you?!
28. Let her cuddle, physical affection is a good thing.
28.5. But not in public....PLEASE NO PDA!!!!
29. Show love includes thoughtful gift and thoughtful actions.
30. Love her as Christ loved the church. [Ephesians 5:25]
30.5. This entails a lot, including willingness to be tortured, rejected, and killed.
31. Very rarely is something not wrong; but show concern, not annoying fear.
32. Following these rules holds no guarantees.
33. Never be ashamed of her.
34. Did I mention that love is commitment? Well, it is!
35. Read and remember 1 Corinthians 13's definition of love.
36. Put the toilet seat back down.
37. Just listen. Yes, that's a difficult concept to grasp, but you must. Just listen.
38. Being tough and a bully and being truly macho are different in actuality.
39. You are out to win over her heart, not simply impress her.
40. Be prepared.

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